Home Again. Home Again. The Last Installment (Part Four)

The last leg of our busy trip home was the actual reason why we scheduled the trip home in the first place - My best friends from High School and College and I all turned the big 3-0 this year and we decided to celebrate with a weekend away together with our families.  We rented a cabin/ house (it was a house but cabin sounds more woodsy and rustic, right?) that we would all fit in and met up on Friday evening to spend a weekend together.  Something we hadn't done pretty much since I got married 6 years ago!  I never have more fun than I do with these three amazing women and getting to spend time with them and the families that they have created is just so fabulous I really can't even explain it (and I'm a writer!).  We had a really wonderful weekend that pretty much solidified the fact that we need to do this every year! So, here are some highlights of our first annual friend retreat!

This was actually taken on the last day of our trip at breakfast at the restaurant at the resort called Soda Steve's.  They are known for their root beer - we wouldn't know if it I good or not as the soda machine was broken during our visit...that would only happen to us! So, I guess while we were there it was really just Steve's. 

Sara, Pam, Moi and Baby Lilly with Kyle jumping in for the photo bomb! 

 

This Tarantula was the 12th guest at our little getaway - we saw him on the window on the outside of the cabin the first morning we were there.  The picture below is what happened when Lance (the one upside down) snuck up behind my hubby when he was getting really close to the spider to check it out.  Some of us were watching from inside when this all went down and it was amazing!

 

 Pam and her baby girl Lilly

These are just some fun shots of all of us as we hung out and visited.  We played a bunch of card games and board games all weekend (much more than we had probably ever played in the 15 years we've known each other!) as we were stuck inside due to a very rainy day.

 

Sara & Moi!  We are hoping that our reunion for next year will take place on a boat - Sara & her fiancé Lance are getting married on a cruise next year.  We are considering how we will top a reunion after one spent in the Caribbean...

No one loves the photo bomb more than this crowd.  Classic Pam...

 

We seriously played soooo many games during our time and we talked and caught up on each other's lives.  Love these three gals so much!  I'm so grateful that we have stayed in touch throughout the years since we left school.

 

Panoramic photo of us at the enormous card table.  Patrick isn't photo bombing by the way, he was the photographer.

This was really the perfect end to an exciting and action packed trip home.  These friends feel like family to me - so glad we got this great chance to just visit and get to know each others families.

Home Again. Home Again. OUT! (picture me dropping a microphone here or I guess maybe a keyboard...

Home Again. Home Again. (Part Three)

Well, I am over the Jiggety Jig but I still have some fun moments from my trip home to share.  This next section may have been the most entertaining - information which may prove shocking after my entire family inside a giant stuffed animal claw machine, Disney on Ice, reenacting the hit 90's TV sitcom FRIENDS on a giant orange couch...but, there is more to tell.  Even more after all of that.

One word. Kayaking.

The day began like any other... With a FUNOVER from an extreme Dave & Buster's adventure with family that vetted 6 enormous stuffed animals for our niece Piper, a fake mustache and a bubble machine.  After we drug ourselves out of bed, shared a hot breakfast at the Whitten Free Continental Buffet we headed out on our Kayaking Adventure.  We grabbed some bottles of water, threw on our flip flops and jumped into some narrow little boats on Keystone Lake.

 We were determined and anxious to get out on the open water.  At least most of us were...

 

 

Once we got warmed up there was no stopping us! Except of course to take pictures...

 

 

 

We crossed the lake and found a sandy beach area for some rest and relaxation before climbing back into the Kayaks.  It was a zen and very calming time...especially after I stopped posing on this root.

 

 

After we crossed back over the lake we headed out to have an amazing dinner at a little restaurant called "Scratch", where some of us had some amazing food (and some of us had cheese quesadillas...) like the perfect Chicken Fried Steak, the cheesiest and most amazing grits ever and pecan pie heated up on a cast iron griddle with coconut gelato melting on top.  There are no pictures to prove it happened, but we are still talking about how awesome it was!

Our next and final family event of the week (that we have photos of) was a Pirate themed early birthday party for our niece Piper that turned into a shared party when they surprised me by getting to celebrate my birthday from the month before with my entire family!  Here are a few highlights of the party - and yes, we were all in costume! Naturally...

 Chrissy set up a photo booth area with pirate props so we could take fun pictures throughout the night.  This is just a little snippet of the hundreds of photos the photographer had by the end of the night....true feelings and relationships came out...just kidding...we just think paper knives are funny!

 I mustache you a question.

 

 Thanks for the lovely presents Aunt Tammy! Now walk the plank!

 Well, this was really just us before we got into character.

 Some really fun memories!! I was truly surprised and a little teary when they brought out the surprise cake.  I never have birthdays with family anymore so that was a fun and special treat for me!

While we were home we also played mini-golf with Mom and went bowling, Kyle and Dad golfed, and then Michael, Dad, Kyle and I all went golfing one day as well.  To end this little post here is a a couple fun shots from our golf day!  Stay tuned for the last segment of our trip which was a weekend friend reunion with my three best friends from growing up and their families!

 

 

 

 

Home Again. Home Again. Jiggety Jig (Part Two)

Home Again. Again. Traveling home just once a year always builds a certain pressure for the trip to make sure and see everyone and do everything that you can while you are there.  This trip was no different but, thanks to some fun planning we managed to make a lot of great memories with everyone even if we had limited time.  This trip home really felt like a vacation and we have tons of pictures and memories to prove it! 

 

On our first night of our trip home we went to a great restaurant called "Hey Mambo" in a trendy new area of Tulsa and then went to a coffeehouse on Cherry Street called CHOCS for dessert.  We tried some fun new drinks (Honey Badger) and some treats (Sweeties) and relaxed and enjoyed time with family.  We also took about 50 pictures....that is so US! We couldn't resist posing on this giant orange couch ala' F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

 

Mom enjoyed her delicious and adventurous hot chocolate (LOL, love ya MOM!)

 

The next day we had a magical girls day out to take Piper to the Disney Princess on Ice.  Myself, Mom, Chrissy, Piper and her other amazing aunt, Kaylee all headed to the fairgrounds to reminisce some childhood memories and to make some!

 

Piper was pretty much in awe the whole time.  I think I spent more time watching her expressions throughout the show than watching it myself - kind of fun to see the world through the eyes of a child and watch her reactions - she loved it!

 

We convinced a cotton candy man to take a picture of our group!

 

Definitely made some cherished memories with this little cutie pie!

Someone bought this sparkly spinning thing for Piper and we all of course took our turns using it as a pretend microphone - it was unavoidable.  Love this sequence of photos.... 

 

 Whenever we go home we try to make time to go to Stillwater for a little nostalgia.  We ate at Joe's with my best friend and roommate Sheralyn (who we didn't take any pictures with apparently) and then headed to see the renovated Student Union (the largest one in the world now!) and shop for some OSU apparel - since where we live OSU apparel is for Oregon State. 

 

There was also time to take in an Oklahoma State football game with some of our favorite OSU family!  My cousin/ other college roomie Chris happened to be home from his Navy post during a few days of our visit so we got a rare chance to spend some time with him. Go Pokes!

 This shot is from a quick lunch we had at Fuddrucker's with family before we went to the airport to head home.  I don't think we have ever come home and got to see everyone so much! It was really special.

 

Would you believe there is even more to share? Stay tuned for the next installment of the All Hall Fall Festival!

 

 

 

Home Again. Home Again. Jiggety Jig (Part One)

We can all probably agree that going home to visit family isn't always an adventure of the nursery rhyme persuasion.  Kyle and I recently returned from a 9 day journey to the heartland - as some people so lovingly call it - to see my family and friends.  I haven't lived in Oklahoma for about 8 years now and haven't really lived in my hometown for about 12 years, so you might imagine that going home sometimes feels like a really weird trip into the past.  What helps with that sensation is that so many things have changed.  Neither parent -of the original two- now lives in what I would consider my child hood home, siblings are sprouting their own families and other relatives are getting older and sharing (over sharing) stories about the past, things I am apparently lucky enough to now hear having grown older, but, that is a different post and a different therapy session. The city is growing and expanding and changing so much, I can hardly recognize it and the same could be said for the people. 

Talking to people once a year or once in a blue moon does not really tell you much about their lives, and because of that it can sometimes BLOW my mind how different things are back home (I so wanted to write "down home" which geographically is correct but it felt like a country song....which to be truthful is also geographically correct) in terms of the family as a whole.  It is interesting to go visit a place that serves Sweet Tea and listens to George Strait after living for a while in a place that just...doesn't.  Unless of course you consider Nestea in a can Sweet Tea - which you don't. Period.

On this recent trip home my Sister in Law/ Cruise Director and I collaborated to come up with some different activities to do while we were home this time, things that would boost bonding time, provide some fun and keep us from doing the normal just "hanging out" in the same house as our family type activities.  Were we successful you ask? As if failure was even a possibility....

These photos tell a story: A fun, exhausting, and amazing story of a trip home so LEGEN...wait for it...DARY that only the photos can truly paint it in the right light.  Or the dark circles under my eyes from sleep depravation and what we have dubbed a "Funover" a Fun Hangover.
 

Whitten Family Fun Night at Dave & Busters!

 

Inside the Giant Stuffed Animal Claw Machine! Yes! This happened! LOL

 

 Dinner with the whole Whitten family!

 

 Back in the Machine!

 

  Basketball competition!

 

I won't pretend that this trip was any different in its bonus features of untraditional family drama, tears, frustration and the muttered under your breath insult.  But, it was pretty amazing despite those things. Some "people" dubbed this trip the ALL HALL FALL FESTIVAL or some nonsense like that and those "people" could not have been more RIGHT!

Don't worry folks, this was only part one - stay tuned to see what other fun our trip home stirred up.

Quote Me.

I read an interesting novel by Jonathan Tropper called One Last Thing Before I Go and it had some of the best quotes.  I have never used my highlight tool on my Kindle so much. For this post I am going to share some of my favorites.  It's a little dark, but he is the kind of writer than makes me want to be a writer-

"Things have been a mess for so many years that trying to pin down a starting point is like trying to figure out where your skin starts.  All you can ever really know is that it's wrapped around you, sometimes a little tighter than you'd like."

"He has loved more women than any man should.  He doesn't so much fall in love as dive-bomb it like a kamikaze pilot, fearless and at full throttle.  He used to look at this propensity as a gift, then a curse, and now understands it to be just another way in which he is broken."

"At some point, loneliness becomes less a condition than a habit.  In time, you stop looking at your phone wondering why you can't think of anyone to call, stop getting your hair cut, stop working out, stop thinking that tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.  Because tomorrow is today, and today is yesterday, and yesterday beat the shit out of you and brought you to your knees.  The only way to stay sane is to stop hoping for something better."

"So every other weekend they spend an hour or so together that leaves them all depressed and depleted, but they never miss it, and if that's not the best definition of family, then he doesn't know what is."

"We're all clichés, Casey thinks, all following scripts that have been written and played out long before we landed the role."


I will definitely be reading more from this author.  I love how he describes something that you have felt yourself but in a way that gives you such a clear image of his character in that moment.
The one about family probably made me the saddest but then it also made me laugh very knowingly.  Isn't that just how it is sometimes?....

Have a great week.

Watch out for more quote filled posts...I'm reading Walden now

Enchanted

When was the last time you got really good and engrossed in a good book? I hope it hasn't been that long because there is just nothing better than a good book.  We have had quite a few rainy days lately and I have just been reading them one after another.  I kind of wish I had a Summer Reading List like we did in school so I had a good recommendation list to go on.  Lately I have been reading things I stumbled upon in the Kindle Store or newly published books from authors I have read before.  I just finished reading Inferno by Dan Brown and then Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns by Lauren Weisberger and then another one by her called Everyone Worth Knowing.  I also read the infamous The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien which I had wanted to reread for a long time.  I even gave Nicholas Sparks another go reading The Best of Me which I am sad to say was pretty much like reading The Notebook again.  I also have to of course mention the series that I just read; Enchanted, Inc by Shanna Swendson which is seven books that are the most fun and easy read I have read in a while.  I loved it and flew through all of them - sleep and responsibilities be darned!  So fun to lose yourself in a story for a while, just hang out with those characters and go on their adventures with them - all with in the comfort of your home.
I have always been passionate about reading and there was a time when I was extremely passionate about writing as well.  I am always thinking about writing something, the problem is that I never actually do it.  I have thought recently that I must just not want to do it bad enough if I continue to NOT write when I have down time when I certainly could be writing.  I could totally write every day if I wanted to.  Which I do want to...but, then I don't do it! So, I am tossing around an idea of setting aside a certain time of day everyday (or at least my days off) to write.  Just plant myself at the computer with Word open and just start typing.  I have to do something.  I am just floundering around here anyways...what if I started writing everyday and somehow it helped me find myself.  Kind of like Julia & Julia where she starts a cooking blog and cooks a recipe everyday for a year and somehow she comes out of it having discovered a lot about herself and what she wants.  Hmmmm....
I'm sure this is not at all an original thought since I'm sure thousands of people attempted that concept after that movie came out and probably way before that as well.  Nonetheless, I need a plan.  I need something...

Nothing makes me want to write more than when I am reading a book.  On to the next read!
This was on the Kindle daily deals the other day and I am jumping into it next: Jonathan Tropper's One Last Thing Before I Go

The Onion Metaphor

I know that everyone has heard an onion used as a metaphor for layers, i.e. "peeling back the layers like an onion".  If you haven't then this might not be the post for you...lol
So the other night I could not sleep for some reason or another and I ended up spending way too much time on Pinterest (which I'm sure no one else has ever done) and also typing some ideas for this post in my notes on my phone which I have been known to do from time to time when I get an idea that I am afraid I will forget.  The good thing is that I typed it and it made sense as opposed to those middle of the night ideas that your scribble on a notepad and cannot decipher the next day.  Anyone? Just me? Okay.
So, I was on a bit of a nostalgic journey that day having watched High School Musical 2 & 3 (hold your laughter! I love those movies!) and I was thinking about the past and drifting through some good memories of my youth...Like the one where we all performed a musical number in the cafeteria about our hopes and dreams and my boyfriend, Zach Efron..wait, that wasn't one of mine. So, for those of you who are still reading (and haven't abandoned ship since I admitted to watching the Disney channel) I wanted to tell you what started stirring in my mind about who we are today and who we were in the past.  Here is what my note said:

We are layers
From who we were at different times in our lives
Sometimes it feels like I am a shell and my past experiences fill up my insides
But, I worry, what am I doing now that will be a great part of me later?
I feel like I stopped progressing or all my talents and dreams left or ended
If I am made up of layers
Am I peeled back already?

I've been thinking some more about this and wondering what 2:30am me was getting at when I typed this out.  We are layers.  I am not one of those people who normally spends much time thinking about the past, but when an old yearbook comes out or a good old fashioned reunion happens with friends it naturally causes those memories to come floating back.  As I watched the movies I just had that sense as I am sure most young(ish) adults have had of those days when responsibilities were at a minimum and life held a plethora of unknown possibilities.  Sometimes it's hard to remember what it felt like to be 17 and heading to college with my best friend and even remembering what it felt like when I moved to Florida for my first job after graduation.  When I sit back and think of those moments I almost feel like I am having memories of someone else.  My life is so drastically different than what I ever imagined-not in a bad way-sometimes I wonder what parts of me from my younger years are still here.  I have sometimes wondered if it is the absence of my best friends from my more recent years that makes such a big difference?  Not that we did everything together because we all certainly went our own ways at different times but is the fact that who I was with these people in my life became my identity and when they aren't nearby anymore I actually found out that I am different than I thought? Hmmm...that just kind of spilled out here as I was thinking and typing.  Let me read it again.  Wow.  Maybe that is it.  Maybe that's why the outgoing loud person I have always been is somehow now seemingly quiet and reserved?  That is something to think about.  I feel like I might have just peeled back an interesting layer. 

When I think about my life I sometimes timeline the years in these different sections:
Parents Divorce
First real friendship
Post First Love
High School
College
Camp
Kyle
Florida
Kansas
Washington

Sometimes it was one pivotal event that completely defined that part of my life.  Some spanned years and others maybe less but, I tend to think back at these different layers of my life and who I was then and I wonder if I knew what I know now back then what would I change? Probably nothing.  But, standing back and looking I feel like I defined my past by situations or people early on but in the last three layers I just note the location I was at. Interesting...maybe because where I am living is completely defining that time in my life because nothing else interesting has happened. I move somewhere different and far away but I haven't done anything adventurous after the brave step of moving somewhere new. I just wrote those last two sentences almost two weeks after I wrote the rest of the post.  I have reread this and tried to figure out what I was trying to say and I think maybe a light just came on. Hmmmmm.....

Who knows what I want? Seriously...anyone?

Lately I have been the subject of much frustration in our household as I seem to be so unsure of what it is that I want.  Not what I want for dinner or where I want to go on vacation but bigger questions like, "What do I want to do with my life-career wise?" and my personal question of  "Do I want to have children?".  Now, I know those are some big Q's to drop on a carefree little Monday posting but it is just so confusing when I seem to change my mind every other second.  I go on a job interview and seem so excited and then afterwards I'm like; "Well, even if they offer it, I don't really know if I want it."  Where did the excitement go?  I've been thinking about it a lot and I don't know if my wishy washy (a very technical term) attitude is because I am afraid to get into a job once again that doesn't make me happy or if I just got a bad vibe and really know that's not what I want to do.  So, I think for sometime I have been battling with the idea of whether or not I want to pursue something different than design.  Half the time I do, the other half I don't.  Wishy.  Washy.  My poor poor husband! He doesn't know what to think when I am soooo excited and 2 hours later am completely ambivalent.  Don't you feel for him?
I have been wandering around in non traditional jobs for some time now and I am somewhat resistant to getting back in to an 8 to 5 desk job doing the same thing day in and day out. Blah.  But, then other times I love the idea of getting back into a professional office setting versus this make your own hours, commission style in and out all day long thing.  I know this may sound whiney, especially to those of you who maybe do the job I described above or maybe I sound whiney because frankly I am not at work right now and I am at home still in my pajamas at 3:30 because although I've been busy all day I didn't have to leave the house.  Well, all I can say to that is honestly, I have done the other and some days I would give anything to go back just to feel like I had some sort of identity as a professional.  I would go back so I could start seeing those contributions every month into my 401K.  I would go back so I had a reason to go shopping for cute business casual outfits with matching heels again.  I work two days a week and I wear jeans.  Hate me yet? Feel free to move on to something else why I continue to drone on...
So, what is the deal? What do I want? I really don't know.  I feel like something is just going to have to land in my lap and force the decision. 
So, what do I do with my time? Ask my husband - everyday he comes home to some new home improvement or home décor project via Pinterest that I am already executing.  Did you read the thing about cleaning your glass shower door with half a lemon and some salt? What?  I'm so trying it.  I'm also painting wide horizontal stripes in my kitchen,  I recently turned an old window into a piece of art hanging on the wall and I upholstered something else....
I'm keeping busy and I am so blessed to not have to decide immediately but I really wonder what will be next.  Or maybe I don't?....

What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about.

Life is Beautiful. Right? I mean, it is so unpredictable, and more than that, it is just weird.  Four years ago I was living in Florida, still pretty much a newlywed and working with a great architecture firm.  Since then I have lived in Kansas City, Kansas looking out my back patio onto a cornfield, freelance designing custom art work for a firm and oh yeah, assistant managing a retail store. Flash to Tri-Cities, Washington-home of the nuclear power plant that built the first atomic bomb- where I spent a year learning about floral design and designing window displays, a brief (very brief) stint as an Optometric Technician (lol...that just sounds ridiculous!) and now for the last year and a half been a salesperson and design consultant selling window treatments.  Like I said, weird.
It's funny too how much we change.  I am so different from who I was eight years ago.  Eight years ago is when I met my husband.  I was a senior in college, just about as busy and involved and crazy as I had been in high school four years before then.  I wonder now if that has to do with my insistency on a calm and peaceful lifestyle since then.  I have made a maybe too extreme point of ridding my life of drama.  I distance myself from any new situations in the places we live that even have a hint of leading to some horrible scenario or another that I have previously experienced.  So much so that my dear husband has long thought that I might dislike the majority of people on earth, which isn't really true, just something in me no longer has any time for nonsensical drama whereas he hasn't that view at all and is blessed to see the good in people and very rarely the bad - I so admire that but, alas I am jaded and some people just emit that aura and I tend to turn on my heel and frolic the other way. 
 I was just telling someone today how simple my life seems compared to others-and come to think of it- to my own a decade ago.  I have my husband, my two puppies and my house.  I no longer work full time (not bragging, just dealing with restructuring in the company due to new ownership). 
Wow, it might not seem so to other people, but these last two paragraphs is a lot more than I've said about my personal life in the past few years combined.  I think that's what I mean about how we change.  Even from who I was about four years ago when I was writing in this blog almost daily about anything and everything - and I could not even contain all I had to say into one blog! I had started a blog with my best friends so that we could share even more openly between ourselves and another blog that was trying to be a long distance book club.  I had an anonymous blog to share some hilarious stories about our life in Florida that I could not bring myself to write about on my normal blog and at one time I even had a wedding blog! I was addicted to sharing! Now I am wondering how I ever did all of that? At this point in my life (that sounds like a Tracy Chapman song) I am more likely to share nothing at all than even a snippet about my life.  And I hate to say this but, even in the last few times I've spent with my best friends in the world (and I must say that both were very brief) I don't think I shared much about my life at all, at least not more than I would probably share over polite dinner conversation.  It's not that I didn't want to but it's like this weird guarded thing that I have developed since living so far from everyone I grew up with-I have this need to control all outgoing information (something that is super easy to do when you live fifteen hundred miles away and only see the majority of people for a few days once a year).  For all they know (or you know) I could have a couple kids and be living in some log cabin in the mountains churning my own butter (with WiFi of course).  But, I'm not.  I am just being who I am now.  Somewhat of a recluse at times, hopelessly devoted to my adorable husband and my attention demanding fluffy dogs who I think are really the ones running the show here.  I mean, I can't leave for an hour and a half to go to the gym without kind of missing the little guys.  I'm terrified to have kids because I cannot quite imagine what I will be like then (not to mention like 5,023 other reasons).
It feels really good to be writing here again despite all those recluse and privacy needing impulses.  I don't really want to change that about myself but I think that I can stretch my wings a little bit and still be comfortable, or maybe it's good to be a little uncomfortable.  I read this saying the other day on one of those wooden blocks at TJ Max, it said "We are not here to wait for the storm to pass but to learn to dance in the rain".  TJ Max...not only great prices but inspirational truths. Right?
Well, I like to control everything but more often than not I am realizing that I have no control at all and Life is just this weird but beautiful ride.  I'm gonna go dance in some rain....wait, I forgot I live in the desert.  I guess a sprinkler will have to do.

Walk with me

Woke up this morning and decided to get up despite the early number my clock had written on its face. I'm not sure what it was that made me get up, it's not like me to be up before nine without a real purpose.
As I looked in the mirror I suddenly decided that I should go for a walk. The dogs really need to be walked and we rarely do so. So I grabbed my Zcoil tennis shoes and the dog's harnesses and leash and before long we were out the door and heading down the street. I don't have a set trail that I walk (as I mentioned, we rarely walk around our neighborhood) so I just decided to see where the sidewalk would take us. We ended up winding our way to the walking trails by the Columbia river and that is where my mind starting churning...
Why do I have such a hard time getting up? Why don't I do this every morning? It's only an hour, just like the gym at night...just an hour to feel so much better than doing nothing at all. Walking along I wondered how I can make the decision to miss out by staying in so often. If I hadn't got up this morning and decided to take this walk I wouldn't have seen the wild irises growing up through the rocks on the river bank. I wouldn't have seen the little old lady with the sweet smile who asked if she could pet the puppies. I wouldn't have seen the giant evergreen tree weeping it's way into a willow, and I wouldn't have discovered the Urban Greenbelt Trail. Just by stepping out the door for an hour...
I hope the me that wakes up tomorrow goes back out to discover more, to breathe in the fresh springy air and try to rediscover life a little bit. What is it about solitude, fresh air and a beautiful morning that makes you suddenly evaluate your life? Maybe if I keep doing this (walking and blogging) I can find my way back to who I used to be. Somewhere I lost something, I'm not sure where and sadly I'm not sure what. But, I lost it. It's got to be around here somewhere! I hope this is the beginning of an adventure. I could really use one.