The Onion Metaphor

I know that everyone has heard an onion used as a metaphor for layers, i.e. "peeling back the layers like an onion".  If you haven't then this might not be the post for you...lol
So the other night I could not sleep for some reason or another and I ended up spending way too much time on Pinterest (which I'm sure no one else has ever done) and also typing some ideas for this post in my notes on my phone which I have been known to do from time to time when I get an idea that I am afraid I will forget.  The good thing is that I typed it and it made sense as opposed to those middle of the night ideas that your scribble on a notepad and cannot decipher the next day.  Anyone? Just me? Okay.
So, I was on a bit of a nostalgic journey that day having watched High School Musical 2 & 3 (hold your laughter! I love those movies!) and I was thinking about the past and drifting through some good memories of my youth...Like the one where we all performed a musical number in the cafeteria about our hopes and dreams and my boyfriend, Zach Efron..wait, that wasn't one of mine. So, for those of you who are still reading (and haven't abandoned ship since I admitted to watching the Disney channel) I wanted to tell you what started stirring in my mind about who we are today and who we were in the past.  Here is what my note said:

We are layers
From who we were at different times in our lives
Sometimes it feels like I am a shell and my past experiences fill up my insides
But, I worry, what am I doing now that will be a great part of me later?
I feel like I stopped progressing or all my talents and dreams left or ended
If I am made up of layers
Am I peeled back already?

I've been thinking some more about this and wondering what 2:30am me was getting at when I typed this out.  We are layers.  I am not one of those people who normally spends much time thinking about the past, but when an old yearbook comes out or a good old fashioned reunion happens with friends it naturally causes those memories to come floating back.  As I watched the movies I just had that sense as I am sure most young(ish) adults have had of those days when responsibilities were at a minimum and life held a plethora of unknown possibilities.  Sometimes it's hard to remember what it felt like to be 17 and heading to college with my best friend and even remembering what it felt like when I moved to Florida for my first job after graduation.  When I sit back and think of those moments I almost feel like I am having memories of someone else.  My life is so drastically different than what I ever imagined-not in a bad way-sometimes I wonder what parts of me from my younger years are still here.  I have sometimes wondered if it is the absence of my best friends from my more recent years that makes such a big difference?  Not that we did everything together because we all certainly went our own ways at different times but is the fact that who I was with these people in my life became my identity and when they aren't nearby anymore I actually found out that I am different than I thought? Hmmm...that just kind of spilled out here as I was thinking and typing.  Let me read it again.  Wow.  Maybe that is it.  Maybe that's why the outgoing loud person I have always been is somehow now seemingly quiet and reserved?  That is something to think about.  I feel like I might have just peeled back an interesting layer. 

When I think about my life I sometimes timeline the years in these different sections:
Parents Divorce
First real friendship
Post First Love
High School
College
Camp
Kyle
Florida
Kansas
Washington

Sometimes it was one pivotal event that completely defined that part of my life.  Some spanned years and others maybe less but, I tend to think back at these different layers of my life and who I was then and I wonder if I knew what I know now back then what would I change? Probably nothing.  But, standing back and looking I feel like I defined my past by situations or people early on but in the last three layers I just note the location I was at. Interesting...maybe because where I am living is completely defining that time in my life because nothing else interesting has happened. I move somewhere different and far away but I haven't done anything adventurous after the brave step of moving somewhere new. I just wrote those last two sentences almost two weeks after I wrote the rest of the post.  I have reread this and tried to figure out what I was trying to say and I think maybe a light just came on. Hmmmmm.....