What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about.

Life is Beautiful. Right? I mean, it is so unpredictable, and more than that, it is just weird.  Four years ago I was living in Florida, still pretty much a newlywed and working with a great architecture firm.  Since then I have lived in Kansas City, Kansas looking out my back patio onto a cornfield, freelance designing custom art work for a firm and oh yeah, assistant managing a retail store. Flash to Tri-Cities, Washington-home of the nuclear power plant that built the first atomic bomb- where I spent a year learning about floral design and designing window displays, a brief (very brief) stint as an Optometric Technician (lol...that just sounds ridiculous!) and now for the last year and a half been a salesperson and design consultant selling window treatments.  Like I said, weird.
It's funny too how much we change.  I am so different from who I was eight years ago.  Eight years ago is when I met my husband.  I was a senior in college, just about as busy and involved and crazy as I had been in high school four years before then.  I wonder now if that has to do with my insistency on a calm and peaceful lifestyle since then.  I have made a maybe too extreme point of ridding my life of drama.  I distance myself from any new situations in the places we live that even have a hint of leading to some horrible scenario or another that I have previously experienced.  So much so that my dear husband has long thought that I might dislike the majority of people on earth, which isn't really true, just something in me no longer has any time for nonsensical drama whereas he hasn't that view at all and is blessed to see the good in people and very rarely the bad - I so admire that but, alas I am jaded and some people just emit that aura and I tend to turn on my heel and frolic the other way. 
 I was just telling someone today how simple my life seems compared to others-and come to think of it- to my own a decade ago.  I have my husband, my two puppies and my house.  I no longer work full time (not bragging, just dealing with restructuring in the company due to new ownership). 
Wow, it might not seem so to other people, but these last two paragraphs is a lot more than I've said about my personal life in the past few years combined.  I think that's what I mean about how we change.  Even from who I was about four years ago when I was writing in this blog almost daily about anything and everything - and I could not even contain all I had to say into one blog! I had started a blog with my best friends so that we could share even more openly between ourselves and another blog that was trying to be a long distance book club.  I had an anonymous blog to share some hilarious stories about our life in Florida that I could not bring myself to write about on my normal blog and at one time I even had a wedding blog! I was addicted to sharing! Now I am wondering how I ever did all of that? At this point in my life (that sounds like a Tracy Chapman song) I am more likely to share nothing at all than even a snippet about my life.  And I hate to say this but, even in the last few times I've spent with my best friends in the world (and I must say that both were very brief) I don't think I shared much about my life at all, at least not more than I would probably share over polite dinner conversation.  It's not that I didn't want to but it's like this weird guarded thing that I have developed since living so far from everyone I grew up with-I have this need to control all outgoing information (something that is super easy to do when you live fifteen hundred miles away and only see the majority of people for a few days once a year).  For all they know (or you know) I could have a couple kids and be living in some log cabin in the mountains churning my own butter (with WiFi of course).  But, I'm not.  I am just being who I am now.  Somewhat of a recluse at times, hopelessly devoted to my adorable husband and my attention demanding fluffy dogs who I think are really the ones running the show here.  I mean, I can't leave for an hour and a half to go to the gym without kind of missing the little guys.  I'm terrified to have kids because I cannot quite imagine what I will be like then (not to mention like 5,023 other reasons).
It feels really good to be writing here again despite all those recluse and privacy needing impulses.  I don't really want to change that about myself but I think that I can stretch my wings a little bit and still be comfortable, or maybe it's good to be a little uncomfortable.  I read this saying the other day on one of those wooden blocks at TJ Max, it said "We are not here to wait for the storm to pass but to learn to dance in the rain".  TJ Max...not only great prices but inspirational truths. Right?
Well, I like to control everything but more often than not I am realizing that I have no control at all and Life is just this weird but beautiful ride.  I'm gonna go dance in some rain....wait, I forgot I live in the desert.  I guess a sprinkler will have to do.