Today

I used to share a lot about my life.  However, as I have gotten older, moved away from family and friends, I have become more and more private with the happenings of my life.  The idea behind it is something akin to "Why worry anyone when I have it under control", but the end result of keeping everything private is you lose all the great connections you had.  It's hard to start a new life in a new place - this is our third state and new location - trying to find your footing can take a while, or atleast it does for me.  I didn't make my other lifetime friendships overnight.  But, I can't keep pretending that those friends from my hometown are all I need.  We rarely speak and although it's amazing when we see each other, after all these years I wonder if it matters that we don't really know who we are now.  Our pasts will always there to hold us together...but I kind of wonder if we are missing out on being friends as our lives are now. 
I don't know if I can really open up again.  I don't know how much I want to.  It's a control thing - wanting to control what people know and think about you since I'm too far away.  But it extends to here as well - wanting to control how everyone sees me, which is ridiculous and impossible.  So much for being a closed book.