I'm back.

Hello Blog World.  It's me.
  I have been on hiatus for going on two years now and there are so many reasons why I have not been able to sit down in front of this computer and type like I'm doing right now.  No, it was not because I lost the ability to type (on the contrary, I just had carpal tunnel surgery so I am all the more able!)  The reasons leading to my absence from the blogging world - and somewhat my absence to myself - are to be brutally honest; many.  Yes, many.  But, today's monumental post (in it being the first in such a long sabbatical, not because of its life altering content, etc) is not going to be about the whys and wheres and whats and all those other W questions we like to ask.
 Today I want to dive in - head first - holding my nose (yes, this is actually the only way I can dive, thus its not really a dive so much as an awkward flop in to water- but alas this post is also not about my poor swimming and breath holding abilities) and praying hard that the words keep coming.
 Please I want the words to keep coming. I have opened this site so many times these past months and stared at the empty post box, desperately wanting to fill it and yet, finding myself without words to share.

• I hope what is coming is an update to friends about where I have been and what I am doing and who I am. 
•  I hope what is coming are stories of mine and my husbands adventures in our cross country moves, first house buying experience, and the friendship that we share that transcends my biggest dreams. 
•  I hope what is coming are fun How To's and crafty Before & After pics of home projects and dramatic tales of home ownership and its harsh realities, disappointments and surprises - both good and bad. 
•  I hope what is coming is a restoration of my soul, my passions, my goals, my dreams...

  I know its a lot to hope for and I know it holds so many promises of renewal - But, I've been gone so long (not only from the Internet folks...) and I am waking up (slowly) and that is why I found myself lying in bed at four o'clock this morning beginning to type this blog in my head while my eyelids were still closed. I hope this is me coming back.  Let's take it one. post. at. a. time.

This song by Laura Story has been such a "blessing in disguise" since it first played on the radio on my way to work one morning... I wanted to add the lyrics to this post as a reminder and an encouragement, for myself and for anyone who reads this and is as lost as I have been in this ocean of life and pain and heartache that we all inevitably exist within.


We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights 
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise